The Last of My Explanations

First I want to say THANK YOU for the birthday wishes yesterday!
I felt an overwhelming amount of love and I am forever grateful!

Many of you have noticed that Ive been a little MIA this month.
Even my own mother asked why I havent been blogging very much lately.
Clearly something has been off.
I've put up the front "Im really busy with my new job and my Australia trip and life all together" but thats NOT why I havent been here.

After yesterday's post I felt the need to give you, my readers and friends, an explanation.
I titled this post "The Last of My Explanations" because I plan for it to be exactly that.
In the last couple of months Ive found myself constantly explaining myself and constantly trying to defend myself. I completely understand that this blog is public and with the publicity comes ridicule. Not everyone is going to agree with me and not every is going to like me. I get it.

What I didnt seem to understand until after I took this little break was that it really DOESNT matter what everyone else thinks. Ive always said that Im a very honest person and that I will stand true to what I believe in and I absolutely will, but it bothered me that people who didnt know me were writing extremely MEAN and untrue statements about me because they didnt like a blog post I had written. Not everyone's going to agree with what I write or what I do, but taking action to write hateful untrue things to hurt me is unnecessary and cruel.

I felt attacked for living a normal life and posting about it on my own blog. Before writing every post I would wonder what harsh reaction would be posted about it or what hate mail I would receive and thats not fun. Im not going to go into too much detail but to give you a little idea of what Im talking about, if I posted about a friend's engagement or wedding that resulted in claims of me being desperate to get married. Ive been accused of secretly wanting to be pregnant because I posted a cute Republican onesie. Ive been called everything under the sun and told Im fat and way too "top heavy" because of my new boobs. For the record, Ive been "bottom heavy" my whole life so "top heavy" made my day!! haha! But seriously, the list goes on and on. And the worst part is that I found myself questioning if I was wrong for writing about these things. I would wonder why I opened the door for people to comment about it. This is MY blog and its my hobby. Its where I come to vent and write and to get away from life and suddenly it was negatively impacting my life, so I took a step back and took time to figure out if it was something I really needed to continue.

After a few weeks of being away for the most part I chose to just let it play out. Yesterdays birthday wishes made me realize exactly WHY I love this community and why I love to blog. I love it for my readers, for the good people Ive met and the positive impact it has made on my life. If it werent for this blog I wouldnt have Allie or Shay and these are two girls I love to death. I wouldnt have "internet friends" to chat with and to watch grow as individuals and as families and thats what I LOVE about this. So Ive decided to turn my head to the evil and to concentrate on the positive. With all great things in life there comes bad, its how you deal with the bad that makes you the person you are. So today I vow to turn my head to the hatred produced my miserable people who try to hurt others. I may not be perfect and niether is this blog, but I would NEVER post anything to personally attack or hurt anyone.

I will not continue to defend myself or explain myself here. If I say something you disagree with, Im sorry. I promise Im not trying to hurt you by having a different opinion. If I do something you believe is not Christian or you dont agree with, its okay. You dont have to do it and God can have his way with me, theres no need for you to. Hopefully this helps calm the urge to ridicule!

I just want to say that this blog world really is so amazing and is what you make it. I chose to let things get to me and to buckle under the ridicule, but it doesnt have to be this way. Cyber bullying doesnt have to affect you and it no longer will hold me back from posting what I want and sharing my life. The friendship and people are absolutely worth it!

Last, I will no longer share very much regarding Christopher. He is very unhappy with how this affected me and was very upset that people took it upon themselves to use his name to make accusations against me to hurt me. He has asked me to leave our relationship off of this blog and first and foremost I respect and stand beside his wishes and request. So Christopher will grace this blog only in photos and our relationship will remain off the blog. It sucks that I cant share everything anymore but I have to do whats best for us! With that said, I already negotiated in the engagement post! You absolutely will know about it when it happens! ;)

So here's to being back in action!!
I sure missed all of you!!
Happy Hump Day!